I see you, Pam Bondi.
I see you, Pam Bondi.
One, two, three, you’re back in the room. Phew! Thank goodness that silliness is now behind us. The pocket watch, much like Epstein himself, has stopped swinging. Nobody needs to embarrass themselves any more. We can all just happily agree that all of this was nothing more than a silly episode of mass delusion with absolutely no real-world ramifications whatsoever. Jeffrey acted alone, had no client list, and there’s absolutely no evidence whatsoever that he was involved in blackmailing anybody. How wonderfully neat and tidy.
How gloriously believable too, particularly from the woman who just a few short weeks ago was insisting said list was sat on her desk. Of course there’s nothing to see here - that’s why all those podcast bros and Twitter journalists were so proud to clutch their big white binders full of absolutely nothing and wave them around on camera. There’s no betrayal here at all - Trump has been entirely consistent on how much he values the truth, particularly when it comes to the billionaire paedophile who called him his best friend for the best part of a decade.
Christ. We all knew you were cheap - doing all you could to make those investigations into Trump University disappear for a mere few thousand dollars in campaign donations - but this is something else. The President who built his entire political platform on weaponising conspiracy theories is now adamant there’s nothing to see, melting down on Truth Social in a manner excessive even by his own herculean standards. The panic is visible from a mile off, which is why he’s now throwing out distractions like a noncey gecko shedding its own tail.
Suddenly Rosie O’Donnell is a threat to the country again, as the President’s sundowning mush of a brain clutches at the deteriorating memory of every old grievance that’s ever served him well in the past. That’ll really soothe the MAGA base, the ones he’s spent years frothing into an orgy of outrage with his baseless speculation about deep-state sex rings that conveniently only ever featured his political enemies.
That Hilary Clinton cracks toddler’s necks open like Pez dispensers to suck out the delicious adrenochrome is a perfectly rational, reasonable and presidential thing to imply. All very sane and very cool. Hypocrisy? How dare you - only an evil person would suggest such a thing. There’s no double standard whatsoever in refusing to release the Epstein files now. Not when silly rumour and speculation could hurt innocent people. Oh, and if that doesn’t work, they’re definitely all fake and made up by Obama and Joe Biden. There’s no panic here!
As if any of that is going to work. Having spent years spoon-feeding his base the appetising possibility of a monstrous network of depraved elites with links to Epstein, Trump is now surprised that his outraged former sycophants suddenly expect to read the full menu. Elon Musk has already seized on the opportunity to reinvent himself as a Rommel rather than a Goebbels by refusing to drop the issue and he’ll be far from the only one.
Not that you or anyone else in Trump’s new administration will demonstrate even that sort of pathetic excuse for a spine on this, Pam Bondi. The inner circle - hell, we can probably just call them a ring now - will make their token noises of dissent before immediately falling back in line. When there is so much personal gain to apparently be had, not one of you scumbags will have enough of a conscience to actually stand up to how disgusting this all is.
If Trump decides the only way he can obfuscate his obvious links to Epstein’s grotesque depravity is by keeping you in post, then Kash Patel and Dan Bongino over at the FBI will only make the tiniest of token grumbles before once again lining up behind their rapist emperor. There are no principles to preserve here - as soon as Trump needs protecting, they hit the shredder alongside Epstein’s client list. You are all as hopelessly complicit in this as he is. Patriots one and all, circling the wagons to protect the most hideous of monsters.
Trump can desperately try to blame fake news and the far-left deep state as much as he likes. The simple fact is that this is his most obvious sleight of hand tactic yet, and even his most loyal sycophants are blinking in disbelief having witnessed it. A true patriot wouldn’t give a shit if someone tied to their party were exposed as a monster, and they certainly wouldn’t use politics as an excuse to defend or excuse them. The colour of your bumper sticker doesn’t trump - pun intended - complicity in outright evil.
They just want to see. And all they can see now is the grotesque old monster desperate to hide the evidence, and the shameless propagandists enabling him to do so.
I see you, Pam Bondi. I fucking see you.